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Tuesday, January 03, 2006

MEMORABLE MOMENTS FROM LAST WEEK'S TRIP TO GEORGIA


FINAL BITE OF FOOD FOR 2005
After a dinner of meat and potatoes, mother-in-law Helen served a praline cheesecake that was so good, I'm pretty sure it was from another planet, so good that I didn't want the experience of eating it to end so about half way through I decided to make each successive bite slightly smaller than the last. That way it would last forever, right? No such luck. So I bid adieu to the old year with a tiny little speck of rich cheesecake flavored with crumbled pralines and a graham cracker crust, a barely perceptible dollop of whipped cream perched on top.

Oh, wait. I think I had a Luden's just before midnight. Damn!


STRANGEST ANSWER TO
AN INNOCENT QUESTION


INNOCENT QUESTION: "What day do the new owners move in?"

STRANGE ANSWER: "They are a black couple."


BEST NAME
She smiled from behind the counter and asked if she could help me. Despite seeming a little bored by her duties at the Starbucks at the Jacksonville International Airport, she was in good spirits nonetheless. As her Sharpie scrawled coded hash marks on the side of a fresh paper cup, I read her name tag. I had never seen a name like this, one that included so many hints that it created its own mystery. I thanked her for the change and then did something I never do. I started a conversation with a stranger.

"How do you pronounce your name?"

"Schquondra," Schquondra answered.

"It's beautiful!"

"Thank you."


BEST CORNBREAD
Mother-in-law Helen's, served with homemade chicken soup for lunch on Friday. Straight from the package but with a little bacon grease added.





WORST CORNBREAD
At The Bulloch House Restaurant and Gift Shop in Warm Springs, they serve squares of sawdust shavings that are dyed orange and glued together. They call it cornbread. Despite my relentless slathering, these vittles were beyond hope. When we got up to leave, father-in-law Richard said, "Everybody take a good look around," indicating that our return was highly improbable.


MISSED OPPORTUNITY
As we approached SR 247, the billboards became more insistent, beckoning us to visit the Cafe Erotica at Exit 146 off I-75. "WE BARE ALL" the billboards promised, but Cindy and I decided a much more inviting slogan would be "You'll stop by for the strap-ons, you'll stay for the coffee." We were in a hurry to get to Waycross so we didn't stop in. Maybe next time.



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